R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I was watching a family eat lunch today. Three girls and their parents. The girls looked 6, 8, 10. The mother did not look happy and the father's back was facing me. One of the girls walked over to see what I was doing and I asked her if she had new sandals. Her dad came up behind her and said, "Third pair, the dogs ate the first two." I thought to myself that if my kid didn't learn after the second time she would be getting $1.99 Old Navy flip flops, not fancy Nikes. I said, "Well you better put them where they can't get them."

The dad wanted to know how much a new heating system would cost and I started my spiel. All three girls were standing real close and he said that the youngest gets antsy. I said I was sure she would understand that we were talking and could wait. Then the wife came over and he said they really do need to replace their furnace.  He asked about financing, but Costco does not finance.  He asked his wife what she thought and she said in a nasty tone of voice, "I think you are wasting my time if you can't pay for it." She showed huge disdain for him in front of the children. So I gave him a brochure and said to call when he was ready. As they walked away I noticed she was carrying a huge new Louis Vuitton bag that had to have cost a couple thousand dollars.

It wasn't a long scene but it did upset me. She disrespected her husband in public, in front of her children. She treated me as invisible. He was humiliated but did not fight back. My stomach was upset by her vituperative negative energy. I could see things so clearly, he was nothing but a paycheck to her and she did not like him because he was not making enough to keep her in the style she thought she should be kept. And you could see from his face that he was extended as far as he could go. I wanted him to think better of himself. I wanted him, as they say, to grow a pair. I could see how a man like that could flip out and kill his wife. I wanted him to run away and start a new life.

Husbands! Wives! Be kind to each other, treat each other with respect. Remember when you met and how much you wanted the good opinion of each other. Show your children how much you cherish each other. If you must be disdainful, think twice before speaking once, and for goodness sake, don't humiliate your spouse in front of your children.

I've thinking about my own life. Have I acted that way? Oh God I hope not. I know I have been out of control, sometimes crazed with anger or frustration and not very pleasant to be around. I hope that I have never made being cruel to another a habit. My marriage had some rough spots for sure, and each of us regrets particular actions or we'd still be married. But I think our children knew we respected each other. 

I tried to be kind the rest of the day. I'm going to try again tomorrow.