My daughter, my thirty-two year old baby girl, is working in the Mendoza wine region of Argentina, right over the mountains from Chile. She sent out this email to the family:
"Well, I am sure you all heard about the earthquake... I sure did feel it this morning - it shook me awake, and then kept shaking. Apparently Chile loses an average of 1 cm every year... they might have lost just a bit more this time. I haven´t heard anything exactly, yet but I think, from my limited experience with earthquakes, that over here it was at least 4.5 to 5. The lights were swaying and car alarms were going off. In town, they were evacuating the hospitals. We felt the big after shock, but then the unrelated 6.0 in Northern Argentina, I didn´t feel at all. The major bummer here is that my roommate worked in a town not 50 km from the epicenter last year and he is having a hell of a time getting any information about anyone. Also, just happens to be a major wine region and I can´t imagine what it has done to the wineries. But, no worries here. Everyone is fine." She is in the little town of Mendoza, in the upper right hand corner of the map. It was actually measured at 8.8
map of earthquake and Mendoza
There has been pretty bad destruction of the older parts of some of the towns and some loss of life, but not on the scale of Haiti. There hundred of thousands of the worlds poorest people died in one blow. Here, in a developed economy, things are bad, but not catastrophic to the same degree. They have resources for rebuilding and their President says not to send aid until they ask for specific aid.
The good news is that it is not worse and the better news is that fears for a Tsunami have been down graded. Here is a good link.
Earthquake overview
Thank you to the friends who have inquired about my daughter.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The right to privacy
So much has been written and discussed about Tiger Woods. Personally, I don't care who he has been cheating with. It does not affect me in any way but one. I am tired of having his life and problems foisted on my consciousness. Aside from living in a cave, one cannot avoid it. I feel strongly that our right to privacy has been compromised.
If I ran for office and they asked me about my religion I would say that my spiritual life is private. If anyone were to bring up my sexual life, I would tell them it is none of their business, it is private. And if anyone wants to make me think that some celebrity's sex life is news, I want to be able to invoke my right to privacy from hearing about it.
You might or might not know that the reason abortion is legal is broadly based on the right of woman to have privacy to do what she wants to her body.
The most frequently quoted statement by a Supreme Court justice on the subject of privacy comes in Justice Brandeis's dissent in Olmstead v. U. S. (1928):
"The makers of our Constitution understood the need to secure conditions favorable to the pursuit of happiness, and the protections guaranteed by this are much broader in scope, and include the right to life and an inviolate personality -- the right to be left alone -- the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men. The principle underlying the Fourth and Fifth Amendments is protection against invasions of the sanctities of a man's home and privacies of life. This is a recognition of the significance of man's spiritual nature, his feelings, and his intellect."
Why do I carry on about privacy when I write about my own life? Not very private at all. It is my choice. You choose to read about it. I don't choose to read about Tiger. Why doesn't he get the right to privacy? Why doesn't his wife and children? I do not believe I have the right to know the details of anyone's life for my gratuitous interest.
Do I need to know if someone is a murderer before I hire them to care for my aged parents? Yes. Do I need to know how many people he slept with before murdering his mother? There are some things we need to know, but there are other things that can remain private.
I am not a lawyer or a constitutional expert, this is just my opinion on privacy, mine and yours and Tiger's.
If I ran for office and they asked me about my religion I would say that my spiritual life is private. If anyone were to bring up my sexual life, I would tell them it is none of their business, it is private. And if anyone wants to make me think that some celebrity's sex life is news, I want to be able to invoke my right to privacy from hearing about it.
You might or might not know that the reason abortion is legal is broadly based on the right of woman to have privacy to do what she wants to her body.
The most frequently quoted statement by a Supreme Court justice on the subject of privacy comes in Justice Brandeis's dissent in Olmstead v. U. S. (1928):
"The makers of our Constitution understood the need to secure conditions favorable to the pursuit of happiness, and the protections guaranteed by this are much broader in scope, and include the right to life and an inviolate personality -- the right to be left alone -- the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men. The principle underlying the Fourth and Fifth Amendments is protection against invasions of the sanctities of a man's home and privacies of life. This is a recognition of the significance of man's spiritual nature, his feelings, and his intellect."
Why do I carry on about privacy when I write about my own life? Not very private at all. It is my choice. You choose to read about it. I don't choose to read about Tiger. Why doesn't he get the right to privacy? Why doesn't his wife and children? I do not believe I have the right to know the details of anyone's life for my gratuitous interest.
Do I need to know if someone is a murderer before I hire them to care for my aged parents? Yes. Do I need to know how many people he slept with before murdering his mother? There are some things we need to know, but there are other things that can remain private.
I am not a lawyer or a constitutional expert, this is just my opinion on privacy, mine and yours and Tiger's.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The language of love
"Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch."
- From The 5 Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman
I woke up feeling wonderful this morning and wondered why. Then I remembered; I was loved.
I have two wonderful daughters, one shows love by the very thoughtful gifts she gives. She hears what I say and thinks about what to give me. It is not easy because I am very hard to gift. But she will find me the blanket, or little bedside light that are just right. She bought me a small quiet fan that I enjoy all summer. Unfortunately, I am not as good a gift giver. I don't always discern what is desired.
My other daughter gave me a most appreciated gift yesterday. She gave me a gift of service. She came to my home and colored my hair and then gave me a pedicure. She worked so gently on my feet, sitting on the floor which was not very comfortable for her. We talked and laughed and watched the Olympics. Afterwards I made her a grilled cheese sandwich which she said was very delicious. I had one too, and I can tell you it was just muenster cheese on whole grain bread. What she found delicious was the love with which it was made. She was eating love. There are so many jokes about mothers pushing food on family and what is not understood is that we are just showing love.
To one degree or another I give words of affirmation, and loving touch, and the gift of quality time. But what is easiest for me to give and understand is the language of service as love.
- From The 5 Love Languages by Dr Gary Chapman
I woke up feeling wonderful this morning and wondered why. Then I remembered; I was loved.
I have two wonderful daughters, one shows love by the very thoughtful gifts she gives. She hears what I say and thinks about what to give me. It is not easy because I am very hard to gift. But she will find me the blanket, or little bedside light that are just right. She bought me a small quiet fan that I enjoy all summer. Unfortunately, I am not as good a gift giver. I don't always discern what is desired.
My other daughter gave me a most appreciated gift yesterday. She gave me a gift of service. She came to my home and colored my hair and then gave me a pedicure. She worked so gently on my feet, sitting on the floor which was not very comfortable for her. We talked and laughed and watched the Olympics. Afterwards I made her a grilled cheese sandwich which she said was very delicious. I had one too, and I can tell you it was just muenster cheese on whole grain bread. What she found delicious was the love with which it was made. She was eating love. There are so many jokes about mothers pushing food on family and what is not understood is that we are just showing love.
To one degree or another I give words of affirmation, and loving touch, and the gift of quality time. But what is easiest for me to give and understand is the language of service as love.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
"Point a finger
... and three come back at you."
It is a cliche' that I find to be true. Another one is "Wherever you go, there you are."
So here I am, in my own little place, looking to assign blame, but I can't. Point that finger and here I am in a heaven or hell of my own making. What will it be? When will I understand that it is my effort that reveals Grace in my life?
Right now, intellectually, I understand that I AM light. But there is a tightness around my heart that is keeping me in the dark.
I am the Founder and President of the Procrastinators Club. I've had therapy, I've had past lives read. I had negative forces that were holding me back purged. And yet ... I put things off. I've prayed, I've sprung up and attacked tasks.
The thing about presenting a strong persona to the world is that no one knows how much help I need. Maybe it was losing my mother at a young age and being raised by clueless parents. Maybe it is the depression. And maybe it is just being bloody lazy. I don't know. But I do know that all the fingers are pointing in my direction and I cannot run because here I am.
Is this the right place to share dark moments of the soul? Probably not. Should you worry? No.
"Is there any remover of difficulty save God? Say Praise Be God, He is God! All are His servants and all abide by His bidding!" Baha'i prayer.
It is a cliche' that I find to be true. Another one is "Wherever you go, there you are."
So here I am, in my own little place, looking to assign blame, but I can't. Point that finger and here I am in a heaven or hell of my own making. What will it be? When will I understand that it is my effort that reveals Grace in my life?
Right now, intellectually, I understand that I AM light. But there is a tightness around my heart that is keeping me in the dark.
I am the Founder and President of the Procrastinators Club. I've had therapy, I've had past lives read. I had negative forces that were holding me back purged. And yet ... I put things off. I've prayed, I've sprung up and attacked tasks.
The thing about presenting a strong persona to the world is that no one knows how much help I need. Maybe it was losing my mother at a young age and being raised by clueless parents. Maybe it is the depression. And maybe it is just being bloody lazy. I don't know. But I do know that all the fingers are pointing in my direction and I cannot run because here I am.
Is this the right place to share dark moments of the soul? Probably not. Should you worry? No.
"Is there any remover of difficulty save God? Say Praise Be God, He is God! All are His servants and all abide by His bidding!" Baha'i prayer.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
What game were we playing?
The other day I spent time with a friend who'd had outpatient surgery. My role was to see to it that she got her pain pills and to keep her awake until the next dose. We decided to play cards. I was amazed that she could see to do it. We had some laughs as she made some plays that I thought were completely illegal. We both compromised but it made for a rather weird game.
Well, I have been playing cards on the computer and guess what? We were both right for the games we were playing but we were playing different games! She was playing a form of Rummy and I was playing Gin! Nearly the same, but significantly different. In Rummy you can add on to the others run and keep going or vice versa. In Gin you have to have a discard to go out, but not in Rummy.
Isn't that just like life? How many times have I been at cross purposes with someone and not known why? I will explain and explain and accuse the other of either not listening or willfully misunderstanding, when actually we weren't playing the same game. Or not on the same page, and sometimes, not in the same universe.
I have lived in Minnesota for over 35 years and I still misunderstand and am misunderstood. I come from NY and inadvertently hurt others by being direct. I also get in trouble for not knowing the code. For example, I planned an event for a certain day and my boss told me to try to find another date because she "wasn't comfortable with that day." I could not find another day that worked and went ahead. She confronted me and asked why I did it when she told me not to. I explained that she didn't say not to do it, just that she would prefer it on a different day if possible because she wasn't comfortable with it. How could I play when I didn't know the rules?
How much of the misery of what had been a happy marriage was because we were miscommunicating? All the communication workshops in the world can't help when one person is trying to state as clearly as possible what she is trying to say and the other is speaking in a subtle code. She gets louder, in hopes of being understood and he gets quieter and stops trying. Subtlety is lost on me.
I am not a mindreader. I have hurt the people I love by sometimes saying the way I think or feel in a less than tactful way. Recently I realized that someone I care about was giving off waves of dislike while trying to smile. Sometimes it gets through to someone as clueless as me. I care about this person and every person in that household. I am so sorry for making them feel bad.
What game am I playing? Am I winning or losing? I sure hope to have fun participating whether I know the rules or make them up on the spot.
Well, I have been playing cards on the computer and guess what? We were both right for the games we were playing but we were playing different games! She was playing a form of Rummy and I was playing Gin! Nearly the same, but significantly different. In Rummy you can add on to the others run and keep going or vice versa. In Gin you have to have a discard to go out, but not in Rummy.
Isn't that just like life? How many times have I been at cross purposes with someone and not known why? I will explain and explain and accuse the other of either not listening or willfully misunderstanding, when actually we weren't playing the same game. Or not on the same page, and sometimes, not in the same universe.
I have lived in Minnesota for over 35 years and I still misunderstand and am misunderstood. I come from NY and inadvertently hurt others by being direct. I also get in trouble for not knowing the code. For example, I planned an event for a certain day and my boss told me to try to find another date because she "wasn't comfortable with that day." I could not find another day that worked and went ahead. She confronted me and asked why I did it when she told me not to. I explained that she didn't say not to do it, just that she would prefer it on a different day if possible because she wasn't comfortable with it. How could I play when I didn't know the rules?
How much of the misery of what had been a happy marriage was because we were miscommunicating? All the communication workshops in the world can't help when one person is trying to state as clearly as possible what she is trying to say and the other is speaking in a subtle code. She gets louder, in hopes of being understood and he gets quieter and stops trying. Subtlety is lost on me.
I am not a mindreader. I have hurt the people I love by sometimes saying the way I think or feel in a less than tactful way. Recently I realized that someone I care about was giving off waves of dislike while trying to smile. Sometimes it gets through to someone as clueless as me. I care about this person and every person in that household. I am so sorry for making them feel bad.
What game am I playing? Am I winning or losing? I sure hope to have fun participating whether I know the rules or make them up on the spot.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Woman at the mercy, a girl stuff entry
Hormones. There you have it. Women spend a great deal of their lives at the mercy of their own hormones.
Aside from doing it myself, I have watched my own daughters go through puberty. One seemed to float through it, as she floats through life, and the other had it hit her with full force. One time when she was particularly unhappy I asked her if she'd had a period recently and she burst into tears. When she realized what she had was premenstrual stress she started being aware of it and learned to anticipate the bad moods and deal with them.
When I was young I learned to lessen the effects of PMS by use of calcium and vitamin E. That is not to say I didn't get a little nuts, I did, but only for a day and not a week each month.
My first pregnancy played havoc with my hormones. My behavior changed to such a degree that within days of conception people started asking me if I was pregnant. When I asked why they were asking, my co-worker said I had turned into a bitch overnight. I couldn't stand being touched by the veins in my husband's arms and other nutty behavior.
By being aware of what I have been feeling and the calendar, I have been able to deal with my hormones messing with my mind. But going through menopause changes all the rules. I think it is the unpredictability that starts all the stories about crazy menopausal women. We don't understand that it is our hormones making us nuts. Now I can have PMS for a month and think I am just depressed and suddenly feel the heavy breasts and wonder, "Am I getting a period?" Nah. Yep. I don't know. Oh, is that blood? I guess I AM getting a period.
They say the ages of menopause are 38-62. You are not officially done until you can go a whole year without a period. Now I will have to start counting again.
Aside from doing it myself, I have watched my own daughters go through puberty. One seemed to float through it, as she floats through life, and the other had it hit her with full force. One time when she was particularly unhappy I asked her if she'd had a period recently and she burst into tears. When she realized what she had was premenstrual stress she started being aware of it and learned to anticipate the bad moods and deal with them.
When I was young I learned to lessen the effects of PMS by use of calcium and vitamin E. That is not to say I didn't get a little nuts, I did, but only for a day and not a week each month.
My first pregnancy played havoc with my hormones. My behavior changed to such a degree that within days of conception people started asking me if I was pregnant. When I asked why they were asking, my co-worker said I had turned into a bitch overnight. I couldn't stand being touched by the veins in my husband's arms and other nutty behavior.
By being aware of what I have been feeling and the calendar, I have been able to deal with my hormones messing with my mind. But going through menopause changes all the rules. I think it is the unpredictability that starts all the stories about crazy menopausal women. We don't understand that it is our hormones making us nuts. Now I can have PMS for a month and think I am just depressed and suddenly feel the heavy breasts and wonder, "Am I getting a period?" Nah. Yep. I don't know. Oh, is that blood? I guess I AM getting a period.
They say the ages of menopause are 38-62. You are not officially done until you can go a whole year without a period. Now I will have to start counting again.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Attitude
Have you seen this magazine called "More"? I read it at the dentist yesterday. It is geared towards the woman in middle age, which can be from 40 and up. Ahem. Anyway I picked it up because the cover had a teaser about the ten best careers for women in midlife.
Number one was the job I lost a few years ago. I loved it as a community services manager. It was different everyday and I got to help lots of people. As I read the article which laid out the salary from 42-80 thousand, yeah right, more like 32-50, I was assailed with negativity. Where the fuck are these jobs and why can't I find one? I can't remember the other nine jobs.
I came home and got ready to go out. While in the shower I wondered if my attitude was the problem? Instead of looking at that article with a jaundiced eye, maybe I can say, cool. Maybe I can change my attitude to one of great, there are jobs out there that I can do and all I have to do is be open. Can't hurt.
So between the negative and positive energy, I am spinning like an atom.
Number one was the job I lost a few years ago. I loved it as a community services manager. It was different everyday and I got to help lots of people. As I read the article which laid out the salary from 42-80 thousand, yeah right, more like 32-50, I was assailed with negativity. Where the fuck are these jobs and why can't I find one? I can't remember the other nine jobs.
I came home and got ready to go out. While in the shower I wondered if my attitude was the problem? Instead of looking at that article with a jaundiced eye, maybe I can say, cool. Maybe I can change my attitude to one of great, there are jobs out there that I can do and all I have to do is be open. Can't hurt.
So between the negative and positive energy, I am spinning like an atom.
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