Missing Cousin Harriet

I first met Cousin Harriet when she was 93. For six years I had the absolute pleasure of knowing her first hand and up close. She was a woman who loved to laugh, loved God as she knew him, laid down to sleep each night with no regrets, and woke up each morning ready to enjoy the day. She hadn't had the easiest of lives, yet didn't feel hers was particularly hard either. The main thing she knew was love. She loved her parents, and loved her husband though she didn't marry young. She insisted that her parents live with them and she took care of them through their aging and dying. Her goal was to live longer than 102 which is how old her mother was when she died. She only made it to 99, but I pointed out to her that she was not gaga like her mother was.

I used to go over between shifts at the Hilton and she was always glad to see me. I would try to bring her a new joke, and oh, she would laugh. She especially loved an off color joke that made her think. Her eyesight wasn't good but she loved to read and took her time. We brought her "Memoirs of a Geisha" and she admitted never knowing anything about that kind of life. Who did? She read the first Harry Potter book and thought it too sophisticated for children. She liked a good Danielle Steele but had to say she thought they were getting repetitious.

Harriet was Scott's grandfather's first cousin, which made her Scott's first cousin twice removed. The first year we brought her home for Christmas she was so happy. She watched us open presents and played cards with ninety years of cunning. She kept saying it was an old fashioned Christmas and she loved it. She became part of our Thanksgivings and Christmas celebrations and all the kids loved her. I was so proud of my nephews and the hugs and kisses they gave her. Not so easy for teenage boys, but they were loving and lovely. It is a testament to my nephews and niece and daughters to say they were wonderful and open to this old lady who came into their lives so late in her life. 

She listened to my problems at work and when I was fired she encouraged me to find the work I wanted. She was so happy when I got the Liaison job. I wish she was encouraging me again as I search for work. I look at the furniture that I was able to buy due to her leaving me a legacy. Who was I to her? Really a stranger who became family of the heart. I was in a unique position to see her often and whatever I used in gas was more than repaid with friendship.

Throughout my life I have always gotten along with old ladies. So many of them have influenced me. I think about Mibs and Gracie and the other Celebrate ladies. They taught me that learning and creativity need not stop with age. They taught me that the qualities of learning and being open are what growing older are all about. I recently heard that William F. Buckley was ready to die because he had done everything and had nothing left to do or want to do. Harriet and Mibs taught me that each day is to be enjoyed, that there is always something new to learn. There is always something to live for.

This morning, as the birds begin to sing and the sky starts to lighten,  I remember with fondness dear Harriet, and Mibs, and confused but sweet Gracie and hope that I will be a beacon for other young women; that I will have influenced someone too. The only way to do that is to get out of bed and live life to it's fullest. Today, I am ready. As Yoda says, "There is no try."