Silly fun

Tonight I went out with friends to a bar in Arden Hills and sang Karaoke. I had a wonderful, wonderful time. I drank a little Coca-Cola and had a shot of Baileys. I danced and was with friends who knew they were being silly and we were all silly together. It was so much fun. We sang and sang and danced and had fun.

We cheered for everyone and nearly everyone took a turn. I never sang alone and went up a few times. The first time I sang Que Sera Sera. This is a song my birth mother used to sing, (along with Doris Day) and I think about her dying at 42, que sera, what will be, will be. It is such a sweet song and everyone sang along with me. I also signed the group up for "All you need is love", not realizing there were actual lyrics before the all you need is love chorus. Then I got two friends to sing Wild Wild Life with me. I felt like I was in Real Stories. "I'm wearing fur pajamas..."

I love to sing in a group. I am a terrible singer and Tony said I sounded like the nicest dying buffalo he ever heard. I had to laugh. My my my Sharona! There is a 68 measure break in that song. I remember singing at the first Celebrate Yourself I ever attended. What a very good time I had without feeling self conscious. I remember singing at Epcot during the laser light show. "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me." That is one of my favorite songs ever. The girls were mortified but I just sang my heart out. Let it begin with me.

Something a little sad was going to a Unitarian holiday event to hear the choir and they led the congregation in song. Everyone was enjoying the feeling you get when everyone sings together and I felt like my heart was breaking. I felt so cheated and excluded. Where I could have been part of that family of like thinkers, I had been excluded. I had to leave.

Now tonight, I was not really with like thinkers. I was just with friendly accepting people who liked me. They were happy to see me when I came, and happy to sing and dance with me. A new group joined us later and Tony asked me to introduce his group to the people who were already there. I was about to leave and did my best to remember names. I got a lot of kisses and regrets from the new people that I was leaving. Instead of feeling excluded, I was included and left feeling very light. I put the cruise control on 60 and sailed home.

What are the differences that divide us? How can we be as one? For me, I think it is the desire to stop judging and start seeing the loving hearts we all possess. It is saying take me as I am and I will take you as you are too. There are some people in this world who are haters. I think of Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. I try not to be a hater. I am not at the point of loving people who hate and cause hurt, but I am at the point where I can look at an old guy at the VFW and see more similarities than differences. We all want to have a good life. We all want to laugh. Maybe some people will disappoint me. Maybe some will hurt me with their sick venom. I have a choice, though. I can be open and strengthen myself with layers of love and acceptance or close up and harden my shell. I have made my choice, and I choose happiness.