This morning my mother left a message on the phone. She leaves one every day and I can pretty much anticipate what she is going to say, "This is your mother. When are you coming to visit?" So knowing it was there, I didn't actually listen to it until later. She said, "This is the pain in the ass, your mother. Call me." I did laugh and call to tell her I was coming after work. I told her how much I enjoyed the message and she remembered that she called herself the pain in the ass and laughed too.
Memory in the aged is a funny thing. She can remember that, and shoes she had as a toddler. But she can't remember days and dates and time gets confused. She asks me when a wedding is and I tell her August, or when Eri is moving, June, but has very little realization that it is May right now. Last week, next week, tomorrow, they are all the same and they are boring. There is no one to talk to she complains, but she doesn't want to talk to anyone who will talk about their own self.
Next Monday they are moving her into a permanent placement on the third floor, right across from the elevator. We have to talk if she wants to visit her apartment first. I will be bringing her yellow arm chair, TV, and small chest from the apartment.
On a personal note, I am extremely depressed and doing a lot of sleeping. I know it will pass, but it makes it hard to get anything done. Please send good thoughts my way. I could use the energy.
Thoughts of energy and light and goodness are flowing your way Carol!! It will pass, you know that to be true. Enjoy the rest when you can and when you don't - go for a walk, nourish your body with good healthy food, listen to bright and bubbly music. Look yourself in the face and embrace all the special unique wonderfulness that is you! She is there, do you see her? Right THERE. Give yourself the love and care you so generously and freely give to others.
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