The Nature of Kindness

This morning I have been thinking about the nature of kindness. Is it opening a door or holding an elevator? Yes, that can be kind but that is more a matter of manners; treating each other with civility as we would like to be treated. I think kindness includes being polite but goes far beyond.

Yesterday I met a new neighbor who has the parking spot next to mine. We immediately introduced ourselves and felt a connection. I found out that she didn't know where any of the amenities were and I showed her how to get to the locker and exercise rooms. Then I took her out to the pool where two women of our age were sitting. I made introductions and one of the women made a personal remark to me. I apologized and walked the new neighbor to the elevator.

I've been feeling a little icky inside since. I've been feeling a little bad about myself and wondering why until I realized that someone had been unnecessarily unkind. When introduced to a new person, I say welcome. I would ask where they had come from and if they were settling in. I would not ignore them and be a little snide to the person who introduced them. I would try to be kind. No, not try, I would be kind. I would show my caring side.

Sitting in a shady spot by the pool is not a stressful experience (unless one is scared of water). Why take the energy to be less than kind? It doesn't make sense to me.

Here are my peeves: meanness of spirit and intolerance. 

Here are the attributes I admire above all else: kindness and generosity of spirit.

We've all heard the saying that nobody can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission. I have chosen to believe that most people are good and do not have my defenses up all the time. So occasionally I get sideswiped. Then I have to toss out the ick and realize the problem is not mine unless I embrace it. Of course by then it has inserted a tentacle into my own feelings of worth. Why do all this rebuilding? Why not live in positivity instead? I can't control other's behavior, but I can remind myself to turn away anger and be kind. It is just a better way to live, for me and everyone else.