Life goes on

I haven't written very much because what is there to say? Harriet gets weaker and weaker and is hanging on to life. When she squeezes my hand there is still quite a bit of strength. But she is unable to stand on her own and barely moves in bed. I have to tell her to hold her own cup with two hands and some days she can barely suck through a straw while I hold the cup. Her speech has become slurred and she sleeps a lot of the time. Today, though, she was much better. She complained that no one was getting her up. So I asked the aides to put her in the wheelchair and we went down to listen to patriotic songs. It is a funny thing about music played on an accordion by a Russian emigree, be it The Volga Boatman, Ain't She Sweet?, or God Bless America. It all sounded the same and a half hour was more than enough. But that is so much more than she has done in weeks. She craves company and was glad to see Leslie and Scott on the third. Eri will visit tomorrow morning.

They say that people don't change, but that is not always true. I have seen changes in both my parents as they approach death. My father will be gone a full year on Friday and his death was not an easy one.   Harriet is having an easier time of it. She is not in pain, her mind is mostly clear, well clear enough to know when she is bored, or confused. I truly hope she just goes to eternal sleep sometime very soon. She is eating very little and drinking enough to get by, I guess. When I ask her what she wants she says, "You. I want you." So I sit by her bed, sometimes talking, sometimes listening, sometimes just holding hands and being quiet. She tells me I am making her happy just being there. Yes, she has changed. She is so grateful for whatever is being done for her and so gracious to the staff. They are very gentle with her.

It has been very hot, high 90's and humid. The air quality is poor and they are telling people with breathing difficulties to stay inside. I feel for my friends and family on the East Coast. It must be beastly hot with electricity cut off for millions. I have broken down and am running my air conditioning when at home and last night slept on the couch in air cooled comfort. My friend Connie and I went to the cheap theater in Hopkins to see The Dictator. It was gross and funny and I enjoyed it in a weird way. There were plenty of inside jokes and I wonder how many I didn't get. Connie just couldn't laugh at some of the really gross jokes; I admit to a guffaw or two. Today we saw a double feature, my favorite.

Moonrise Kingdom was Wes Anderson at his best featuring a cast with Frances McDormand, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray and other well and not so well known actors. It was just the kind of quirky movie I love. It is a little gem. The other joy of the day was bringing Connie upstairs to see Brave. It wasn't sneaking because we were bold as brass, entering with all the legitimate ticket holders. Imagine being sixty-six and giving into peer pressure. (Bwahahaha!) I enjoyed this Disney/Pixar movie where both mother and daughter were headstrong heroines and learned to bend after having some wild adventures. I won't be a spoiler but will say the four year old behind us got quite a scare! I still like hand drawn animation best. I think I spent too much time admiring all the detail in the scenes and in the heroine's wild hair.

So, a lovely Fourth spent in air conditioned comfort, appreciating my life. I encourage you, too, to look around and count your blessings. Hopefully your families are well and your electricity is keeping you cool.  I wonder if any one today remembers the pleasure of leaning against a cool plastered wall next to their bed?

(Written from the comfort of her air conditioned condo.)