Family of love

When my second daughter was born, I hand-lettered her birth announcements on beautiful postcards. There was a central white space with lovely drawn and colored animals all around. And in the middle I wrote, "We are family, family of love, introducing our newest member..." Well that was over thirty years ago and I keep finding new branches, such as my darling new grandnephew, Linus, and dormant branches coming back into bloom.

This evening I got to see a cousin I haven't seen for at least forty years. What a wonderful treat to be together. My mother's niece Amy and her husband Paul flew into the cities from Atlanta as their first stop on the way to Minot, North Dakota. They will spend the weekend with a daughter and husband who live there. It was really fun for the old lady to tell tales out of school and for my cousin to tell what her life had been like and why she distanced herself from her family. She ran away and got married to leave home, and I ran away from home to get away from my parents and the man who wanted to marry me. She had no clue about me! I really do have to laugh. We each think the crisis' we experience in our young lives are so earth shattering that of course everyone knows.

We spoke of a cousin who won't talk to anyone from his side of the family, only his wife's. We spoke of having parents who were hard to deal with, but with all their mishegas, we still couldn't walk away. It was her mother, it was my father. I found it remarkable that we both married very nice men. (The fact that my marriage ended doesn't mean he wasn't a nice man, he was and is a very good person.)

Amy is my step-mother's niece and we are not related by blood, yet we are family of love. During dinner, my mother leaned over and kissed my shoulder. And as we drove home, I put my hand on hers and said, "We are doing OK, aren't we?" I see the friends she has in the building where she lives, and know others are looking out for her. The other night I organized National Night Out for my little condo and all the older ladies who have befriended me showered me with love for my efforts.

I have bunches and bunches of cousins all over this country and none of them have cared enough to stay in touch. It makes me sad to think about them, especially when I see the wonderful reunions Midwest families make. At this point the only family I know by blood are my sister and her sons, and my own daughters. Still, all my in-laws are dear to me and I could not love them more.

I have friends on facebook, and others who I don't talk to for months at a time. Yet I know, though not by blood, we are still family, family of love.