Porn

What is porn? It is obscenity. What is obscenity? In the famous words of Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, "I know it when I see it." He did not try to distinguish between soft and hard core, but it does make me think. Because I think I unwittingly watched some hard core food porn. It was called Man vs. Food.

In the particular episode I saw, the host tried to choke down massive amounts of hot food. The sauces were so spicy he had to wear gloves to protect his hands and anywhere those hands might touch.  Yet he shoveled it into his mouth which is much more sensitive than his hands. He was in pain and people were urging him on, almost like fans at a cockfight. It was fascinating in a train wreck kind of way. They showed huge portions of cooked meat soaked in extremely hot barbecue sauce and we all said, "Eeew." What could have been nice was now obscene. I saw it and I knew it.

At one point I turned to my twelve year old grandson and remarked that for most of the world, man vs. food meant getting enough. He thought about that while we watched. I've been thinking about it too. What is the difference between that show and others that show people enjoying food all over the world? I think the operative word is enjoy. The best burger or creme brûlée doesn't cause pain to the eater. It is eaten with gusto and appreciation. It is not a spectator sport. I see a distinction between a pie eating contest at a picnic and a hot dog eating competition for cash. One is fun, the other work.

I was once invited to a 50th birthday party at a sports bar. The hostess hired the entire place for the whole evening, and, I don't know why, thought it was a good idea to have all those many televisions playing porn. I guess her husband, the birthday boy, liked it. I was pretty shocked. I didn't know where to look because everywhere I turned those monitors were showing things I didn't want to see, and I especially didn't want to see them in high definition! I've seen sexy movies and this was not sexy. To me it was anti-erotic and I left soon after wondering why I attended.

I don't deny anyone their right to watch what they want. If I see the marquee says XXX I am pretty sure what my ticket buys. And now I know if a show is called Man vs. Food to change the channel. Because just like Justice Stewart, I know obscenity when I see it.