Risk and side effects

Risks and Side Effects.


I woke up a while ago with the words risks and side effects bubbling around the front of my mind. I lay there in the semi dark thinking of where I heard them and what those words mean in real life.

There is a sleeping pill that has caused people to sleep walk or even drive without being aware of their actions. They can also get up and eat and not know it. They will be aware, though, of the terrible taste in their mouth caused not by eating and going back to sleep without brushing, but by the drug itself. I remember killer bad breath after having general anesthesia. If it is like that, it is pretty bad.

There is a drug to stop smoking. Unfortunately one of the possible side effects can be suicidal thoughts. Unfortunately suicidal thoughts often lead to death; a sure way to stop smoking.

This is not a diatribe about drugs. Knowing that I am much less creative while on anti-depressants, and knowing how much I love painting, I still choose to take the drug and create less. I understand the side effects and choose being fairly sane over cutting off my ear. (figuratively speaking) It is only in the recent past that drug companies disclose in easy to understand language what the possible risks and side effects of their products are. Personally, I would rather play on the computer and eat ice cream that I am aware of, than take a sleeping pill. Yet when it comes to drugs I choose to take, I accept the possible risks to reap the measurable results.

But what about life? Do we take the same approach? Do we think that the child we joyfully conceive might be less than perfect? Does it occur to us that the one we give our hearts to might not want it? What about speech? Do we think that our words have power and withholding what needs to be said can be just as harmful?

Some risks are obvious. Play in traffic and the chances are excellent of getting hit by a vehicle. Some risks are less apparent. Drink from someone else's glass and there is a chance of meningitis. We weigh those risks subconsciously. I will take a sip of water from the glass of someone I share kisses with but not from a strange glass sitting on a dirty table.

Yesterday a friend came over to visit. He wanted to meet somewhere neutral and buy me lunch but I blew the time and arrived an hour and a half early. I ate lunch alone and when I finally connected with him he came over to my place. He had something to tell me and didn't know how. Finally he told me he had stopped drinking. He wasn't sure how I would take it. I asked him if he thought I would tell him that was unacceptable and he should stay drunk. No, it turns out he was working his program again and was in the asking for forgiveness step. He felt he hadn't been a very good friend while drinking and had been avoiding me. There was a risk in his mind that I would give him hell and the side effect would have been a tirade. What he got instead was support. What I got was my friend back.

What are the risks in living every day? What are the risks in being yourself? What is the side effect of taking risks? Could your heart be broken, people think you are uncool? What is the risk in being kind and understanding? Will someone take advantage of you? What is the side effect of sharing your abundance? Will others benefit and will that benefit come back to you? There are no promises in this life. I don't want to die knowing I always played it safe and never took risks. I accept there might be some negative side effects but there could also be happiness, self awareness, satisfaction and joy.