Laughing Again

It is a long time since I lived alone and so far, I AM LOVING IT! I am making myself turn off lights, put away dirty dishes, make my bed, and hang up towels in the hope that as I begin, so I will continue.

When I left the Ashram in 1975 I asked to live in a house with some other followers. They welcomed me but one woman warned me that S really, really, liked me. I asked her why she thought that and she said, "He laughs at everything you say whether it is funny or not." I told her I could handle it. We married later that year and laughed together for a long time. Our house was full of laughter.

How did I know something was wrong in our marriage? The laughter was gone. It was so grim. Every once in a while we would laugh like we used to and I would become hopeful that all would be right again. Alas, it was not meant to be.

Since moving out S and I have spoken several times and shared laughter again. Yesterday he dropped off some books and we were both so happy we had to hug. We were laughing again and it felt so good. It was bittersweet. We were happy because we weren't together. I felt that pang for a minute and then realized that loving someone means wanting the best for them. In this case it means living apart and starting new lives.

He wants the best for me and I want the best for him. Be happy my forever friend. Be happy and laugh.