My hope chest

Back in the day I used to watch American Bandstand and read my friends Seventeen magazine. I couldn't imagine the kind of life where one would spend $5 on a pair of socks. I couldn't imagine how one got cool enough to dance on TV. But there was something both those outlets promised. I knew that when I was a senior in high school I could get a miniature Lane Hope Chest. They said so in Seventeen magazine. It was promised on Bandstand.

It turned out that senior girls in certain high schools in certain states could get a miniature hope chest. As in so much else, I was shit out of luck. When I left home at 17, it was with a duffel. I married at 23, out of a commune. I didn't have a wedding shower, hope chest or much else. We moved into a mobile home with 2 melmac plates, 2 sets of cutlery and bowls, a wok, a cast iron frying pan and a used mattress.

Over the years I aquired it all. I even was left a set of sterling silver flatware from a beloved older cousin. My house is full of stuff! Now that I am getting my own place I have started a kind of hope chest for myself. Oh, it is so much fun.

I have new towels and some of the old. I bought a new set of cookware, a new pie pan, and today I bought a Vita-Mix. Yes! After looking at them for 35 years, I bought a Vita-Mix at a wonderful price. The young man demonstrating at Costco made me the most delicious sherbet from grapes, pineapple and spinach. I could do that! I would eat sherbet all day long if it weren't for the sugar. But making my own in three minutes...I can do that. I WANT to do that.

I have a new iron that doesn't leak, and closet organizers. I bought a flat basket for my make-up. I have hope in my heart and sometimes I am so happy at the thought of moving that my smile hurts my face and I almost cry for joy.

There is a lot of work that needs doing on the new place. There is still work that needs doing on me. Just seeing someone from my last job on Saturday brought up how much forgiveness is still needed. I can forgive my husband, my crazy old father, even George W, but I can't give up being angry at the woman who manipulated me out of my job. I vow to work on that. I have to forgive myself for being becoming a victim of her machinations and not seeing what was happening.

Here is the contents of my heart's hope chest:
Forgiveness for myself and others who have hurt me.
Eagerness for each new day.
Kindness to others.
Desire to be a good person.
Appreciation of gifts given, be it a sunrise or pearls.
Awareness of consciousness and the Creator.